Hispanic Heritage Month celebrates the culture, identity and history of Latino people. But what if you don’t always feel connected to the heritage you’re expected to celebrate?
I don’t speak Spanish. I don’t always relate to the experiences of other Latinos, and sometimes, even in places that should feel safe, I feel like I don’t fully belong. I know who I am, but sometimes I feel like I have to prove my heritage to others or even to myself.
Growing up, I had no shortage of introductions to my culture. From spending Sundays at my Mexican grandma’s place — going to Catholic Mass and all — to having Puerto Rican flags plastered all around my home, I was always aware of who I was. It wasn’t until interacting with other Latinos in high school and college that I began feeling inadequate.
There wasn’t any one moment where someone explicitly told me I wasn’t Latino enough that stuck — though this certainly did happen. I just started to notice things that made me different compared to those who share my heritage. I couldn’t speak or understand Spanish as they could. I didn’t always understand the references or relate to their experiences. I can’t even handle spicy food. A culture I’d grown up feeling connected to was now something I felt I had to prove I belonged to.
On Tuesday, UFG brought together Latino members for Bolero, a photoshoot celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month through fashion and self-expression. As the primary photographer and the only male model, I felt unmotivated and, admittedly, uncomfortable participating in something centered around a culture I sometimes felt like I couldn’t fully claim. I was reluctant to start creating images. I caught myself comparing my looks to the other models. Their accents, their hair, their facial features, even what our stylists put them in. I questioned whether I belonged in the same room, much less sharing the frame with them. It’s easier to be behind the camera.
Being behind the camera puts me in control of the output — how the model is viewed and what viewers ultimately take away from the photo. Being a photographer allows me to participate creatively without having to worry about how I am perceived. Similarly, being unseen protects me from confronting my own insecurities concerning my heritage.
But something changed while the models were still getting ready. My Spotify DJ started playing songs from my 2024 playlist, many of them Mexican corridos tumbados. I remembered these songs — most were in my top five that year — and for the first time that day, I felt excited. I grabbed my Mexican and Puerto Rican flags from my room, got dressed and we started the shoot. As it went on, I switched between modeling and taking photos, watching each of us show our heritage in our own way.
Modeling my heritage didn’t make my insecurities disappear right away. I still felt uncomfortable in my own skin, but with the music, the flags, and everyone adding their own style to the shoot, I started to relax. I wasn’t trying to look more Mexican or Puerto Rican than I am. I wasn’t trying to prove how Latino I was. I was just enjoying being part of something that celebrated a culture I’ve always belonged to.
